A Valentine's Story

Hello, everyone. This is Mary Lou. Today is Valentine's Day, the day of love. The purpose of this blog is to recap the past year in the lives of Mama and Daddy and to extend an invitation to the whole family to organize ourselves to help them. 

One year ago today, on a Monday, Daddy was standing in the kitchen with the car keys in his hand about to head out the door with Mama to go to the bank. He started to lean and then he fell, and in that moment their lives drastically changed. We all learned shortly that he had suffered a stroke. Mike headed here immediately. On Tuesday, the doctors put Daddy on oxygen and put him in the critical care unit. By Wednesday he could not eat, could barely breathe, and his brain swelled. I arrived on Thursday night and stayed in the waiting room where Mama had been spending the nights so she could check on Dad at 3 in the morning.  Dad had to have a ventilator tube put down his throat on Friday and was heavily sedated for the rest of his stay. Mindy came to visit and Mike built a ramp. On Friday, Feb. 25, Dad was wheeled into surgery at 7 in the morning and had a trach put in his throat and a feeding tube that comes directly out of his stomach. Later that day, he was taken to Select Specialty Hospital in Springfield. Mama, Mike and I packed quickly and headed to Springfield and set up Mike's motor home for Mama and I to live in. We could see the hospital from the park where we lived.

Daddy was at Select for six weeks. Gayle, Janetta, Linda, Joe, Tony, Alex and Cole came for visits along with our church folks. My boyfriend, Ronnie, came home in April and took us out to eat a lot. Sandy, our preacher's wife, brought many meals. Calls, prayers and support came from all over. One of the highlights of that time was when Daddy moved his left foot. Mama saw it first and then he did it for the doctor. On March 25th, Dad is taken to Manor Care Skilled Nursing not far away. Mike comes for a visit and I spent the night in Daddy's room in a big chair so he wouldn't be scared if he woke up. He is in the rehab unit and works very hard, staying at Manor Care for two months. On May 26 Daddy got to come home. Mike and Gayle came to help with the move. Ronnie and I met the man with the hospital bed and other equipment. A nurse came late that night to train us on the feeding tube and pump. It was a very long day.

Daddy has been home for eight months. He is wheelchair bound and has to be transferred with a nifty lift machine called a hoyer. He no longer has a trach, but is still fed by feeding tube, four times a day. He can eat yogurt and protein shakes and some blended foods. He brushes his teeth and shaves. He talks stronger and longer. He goes to church on Sunday mornings, via the van that Mike and Michael brought to us.

A bath aide now comes four times a week, but Mama carries the burden of cleaning and bathing Daddy, which is a huge task for a little old lady. We dress him, scoot him up in bed, dress his tube opening, give him food and meds throughout the day, help him exercise, put his leg brace on at night, finger splints on during the day. We order food, meds, briefs, etc. and stay in close touch with his nurse practitioner. Mama does laundry constantly.

I have seen Ronnie go off on two four-month tours for his music ministry already and would really, really love to be able to go with him this summer. When I go, that leaves Mama with a huge load of work. The bath aide will be able to come five times a week (two hours each morning) at that point, and Cole is great to check in whenever he is needed, but Mama still needs a lot of help.

Here is the plan that I lay before you all:

    I will be close by for four months out of the year (April, May, October and November). Amy has attached a calendar to this blog. If someone could come to visit Mama and Daddy at least every other weekend in the other 8 months that would be a huge help. Linda and Joe usually visit for two weeks in the summer...we can plug those dates in. Mike and Vickie visit about every two months. Amy and Donald are willing to visit for a weekend once in the summer and once in the winter stretch. Think about the dates that you would like to visit, and then you can sign up for them. This blog spot can stay open. We can keep each other informed on things that need to be done.

Some chores that really help Mama are yard work, washing the car, grocery shopping, going to the post office, cooking meals and helping to transfer Daddy to the wheelchair. She will be lonely when I am not here because we have been together for a year now. She will need the company of her family more than anything.

In committing to a date to come and visit, you will be doing so much. It will help Mama and Daddy in many ways and bring them so much joy, so much to look forward to. It will help me to be able to leave without worrying too much. It will be a mission of love for the most selfless, loving two people that I know. That's all I have for now. Please pray about this and sign up as soon as you can. Together we can do so much. Let me know any ideas you have. I love you all and look forward to us making this work.

NOTE:
    As soon as I figure out how to write in names on the calendar I'll let y'all know. In the meantime, pick out a good time to come and visit.

later....Ok, I got it. You click on the site name below the calendar. When you get to the site you sign in with this username: jea920 and this password: halley12. Then click on the day you want and put your name in. Thanks!

If you want me to enter it in, just let me know.